Animal #4: The Red Kangaroo (Macropus rufus)

The Facts:

Following the unfortunateness (it's a word look it up) of the panda, we follow up with another lovable oddball of the animal kingdom: the Red Kangaroo.

A kangaroo is a marsupial from the family Macropodidae. In common use the term is used to describe the largest species from this family, the Red Kangaroo, the Antilopine Kangaroo, and the Eastern and Western Grey Kangaroo of the Macropus genus. The family also includes many smaller species which include the wallabies, tree-kangaroos, wallaroos, pademelons and the Quokka, some 63 living species in all.[1] Kangaroos are endemic to the continent of Australia, while the smaller macropods are found in Australia and New Guinea.

In general, larger kangaroos have adapted much better to changes wrought to the Australian landscape by humans, as many of their smaller cousins are endangered. However there is considerable controversy over farming of kangaroos for meat.

The kangaroo is an Australian icon: it is featured on the Australian Coat of Arms,[2] on some currency,[3] and is used by many Australian organisations, including Qantas.[4]

Kangaroos are the only large animals to use hopping as a means of locomotion. The comfortable hopping speed for Red Kangaroo is about 20–25 km/h (13–16 mph), but speeds of up to 70 km/h (44 mph) can be attained, over short distances, while it can sustain a speed of 40 km/h (25 mph) for nearly two kilometres.[10] This fast and energy-efficient method of travel has evolved because of the need to regularly cover large distances in search of food and water, rather than the need to escape predators.

Because of its long feet, it cannot walk normally. To move at slow speeds, it uses its tail to form a tripod with its two forelimbs. It then raises its hind feet forward, in a form of locomotion called "crawl-walking."[10]

The average life expectancy of a kangaroo is about 4–6 years, with some living until they are about 23.[11]

The Red Kangaroo (Macropus rufus) is the largest surviving marsupial anywhere in the world. Fewer in numbers, the Red Kangaroo occupies the arid and semi-arid centre of the continent. A large male can be 2 metres (6 ft 7 in) tall and weigh 90 kg (200 lb).^[9]

Kangaroos are large herbivores, feeding on grass and roots, and they chew cud.[12] Many species are nocturnal[13] and crepuscular,[14] usually spending the days idling quietly and the cool evenings, nights and mornings moving about and feeding, typically in packs.[12]

Because of its grazing, the kangaroo has developed specialized teeth. Its incisors are able to crop grass close to the ground, and its molars chop and grind the grass. Since the two sides of the lower jaw are not joined together, the lower incisors are farther apart, giving the kangaroo a wider bite. The silica in grass is abrasive, so kangaroo molars move forward as they are ground down, and eventually fall out, replaced by new teeth that grow in the back.[10]

Different kangaroos also prefer different diets. The Red Kangaroo prefers dry grasses to juicy plants, because juicy grasses are very bulky, and the water inside takes too much space. The two gray kangaroo species, however, prefer soft, fresher grasses, as it is a woodland animal, opposed to the desert environment of the Red Kangaroo.[10]

In dry weather, all kangaroos hold food in their digestive system for a longer period of time to absorb the last bits of moisture. However, grey kangaroos are more prone to dehydration, because they do not have much need to conserve water in their woodland habitat.[10]

Kangaroos are shy and retiring by nature, and in normal circumstances present no threat to humans. Male kangaroos often "box" amongst each other, playfully, for dominance, or in competition for mates. The dexterity of their forepaws is utilised in both punching and grappling with the foe, but the real danger lies in a serious kick with the hindleg. The sharpened toenails can disembowel an opponent.

There are very few records of kangaroos attacking humans without provocation, however several such unprovoked attacks in 2004 spurred fears of a rabies-like disease possibly affecting the marsupials. The only reliably documented case of a fatality from a kangaroo attack occurred in New South Wales, in 1936. A hunter was killed when he tried to rescue his two dogs from a heated fray. Other suggested causes for erratic and dangerous kangaroo behaviour include extreme thirst and hunger.

Tim's Opinion:

I saw one youtube video of kangaroo versus humans and I gotta say, a kangaroo may kick the living crap out of me. In fact, I'm all but sure that a kangaroo can kick the living crap out of me. If you don't know what youtube video I'm talking about, take a look:



The kangaroo first punches the living shit out of that poor lady and kicks her. Then when her husband, who looks about my size, gets punched and then kicked to the floor by the kangaroo. The CRAZIEST and SCARIEST thing about a kangaroo is that it is a natural boxer. It is light on its feet and it is constantly moving. BOB AND WEAVE! BOB AND WEAVE! Friggin Muhammad Ali would be proud of that little bastard.

Alright, lets make a comparison. Muhammad Ali is 6'3 and during his fighting days, he was 183-236lbs. He is considered the best boxer in the history of boxing. A kangaroo, at least the Australian Red Kangaroo, can reach up to 6'7 and can get up 200 lbs. This little bastard will definitely float like a butterfly and sting like a bee!

The kangaroo is the exact opposite of the panda. It is 200 lbs. of pure muscle and stands a nice proportional height. Most importantly, it is agile and athletic! Here's the thing about the kangaroo that's different than the panda. The kangaroos actually practice fighting and they do it as a part of their livelihood. How do they determine who is the dominate male? They BOX! What do pandas do? Eating contest. Take a look at a couple kangaroos having a boxing match. Not only do they box, they balance on their tails to give a nice little front kick that'll probably break something:



There you have it. I concede defeat to these cute little buggers. I equate a kangaroo to a trained boxer or a MMA (mixed martial artist). They hover right around my size but goddam, they have a lot more skill at fighting and I'm sure they can take a lot more punishment than I could. I know one of those kicks right to my gut would not be fun times.

I'm sure some people will state that they could take a kangaroo because, hell, they look and fight just like a human. I don't know. I am very skeptical. My only thought on how I could beat a kangaroo would be to bum rush it at the beginning of the fight and get it off its feet. Then I could just grapple with it on the ground since they won't be able to use those powerful legs. There's always that chance that when I'm bum rushing it, it's just gonna hop on its tail and double front kick me in the face. Then I'd be dead and you wouldn't get to read this blog anymore.

Hrmm...the more I think about it, this reminds me of my kung fu days. It'd be like going against a very very good sparring partner. Not Bruce Lee level since they are just punching, kicking, no defense. I still don't like the fact that they stand on their tail and get full extension on their kicks. The whole "sharpened nails can disembowel an opponent" scares me... Hrmm, on second thought, maybe I'm less confident about fighting a kangaroo...

There you have it, I predict most men lose against these wily little bastards. What odds am I giving myself? If I were a betting man (which I am), I'd give myself 20% chance. I think on a good day, I could take down a kangaroo two out of 10 times. Granted, I'd probably be a bloody pulp but I would have taken down these rat bastards...

Excuse me while I go cry myself to sleep on my panda pillow. I look forward to all of your comments.

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