Animal #1: The Coyote (Canis latrans)
The Facts:
Let's start with the animal that inspired the discussion topic: the coyote. Here is some basic information on the coyote:
Coyotes are native to North America and are found from Alaska to Panama. European explorers first encountered these canines during their travels in the American Southwest. They may occasionally assemble in small packs, but generally hunt alone. Coyotes live an average of 6 to 10 years.
The coyote stands less than 0.6 meters (2 ft) tall and varies in color from white-gray to tan with sometimes a reddish tint to its coat. A coyote's ears and nose appear long and pointed, especially in relation to the size of its head. It weighs between 9 and 22 kilograms (20–50 lb), averaging 14 kilograms (31 lb).
Their behavior can vary widely depending on where they live, but in general they live in packs yet hunt singly in search of small mammals including rabbits, mice, shrews, voles, squirrels, grouse, carrion, insects and sometimes sheep, and fish. In areas where coyotes and deer co-exist, an adult coyote will typically prey on one fawn per year. The majority of deer found in coyote scats comes from carrion, such as road-killed and hunter-killed deer or victims of starvation or disease (Morey 2004). The coyote is an omnivore and adapts its diet to the available food sources including fruits, grasses, and vegetables along with small mammals and even trash.
(source: wikipedia.org =p)
Tim's Opinion:
Come on, a coyote doesn't look all that scary. Sure, it may have a few sharp teeth and animal instincts but look how it hunts! It just hops around like a little ballerina! (No offense ballerinas, I know you are all an incredibly tough bunch...and flexible) Besides the teeth, the coyote looks like a little doggie. I mean would it be really that hard to take down a coyote? Let's look at its stats: it's 30 lbs and roughly 2 feet tall. So I got about 4 feet and 150 pounds on this thing.
In reality, how is the coyote gonna kill me. It can only go for two vital areas, the throat or the face...well three if we count the most important vital area... Well I guess he could bite me in the leg but that bite in the leg would have to make me fall to ensure that I don't start wailing on it with my two free hands while it's tearing in to my meaty calf...hell, even if I fell, the coyote better hope I don't FALL ON IT. The coyote is 30 LBS. Think about that 30lbs. You can curl that with one arm. I don't think a 30 lb creature could stand a barrage of punches to the ribs from a human or my fat ass falling on it. Call me crazy.
Also, all it uses is its mouth. It's not gonna pounce on me unless it's going to jump five feet in the air and land directly on my shoulders and then proceed to vampire bite me in the neck. It's only tool is its teeth because if it tries to swipe at me with its paws, it'll be hitting nothing but SHIN. It sucks to get hit in the shin but it won't kill me...just greatly annoy me. On the flipside us humans will kick, punch, headbutt, bite, eye poke, chokeslam, etc. So as long as I avoid being bitten in the neck, face or crotch, I think I could possibly kill a coyote before it killed me. I'm not giving myself great odds however, but I think it's fair to say it'd be a pretty entertaining fight.
Here's a coyote hunting field mice in the Marin Headlands.
Do you think you can take down a coyote? DISCUSS...
The official results will be tallied Tuesday night!
A coyote is an easy starter. Not much bigger than your average dog, and probably fairly simple to get into a headlock or choke hold. If one manages to bite you and clamp down, its just taken its main offensive weapon out of commission, leaving only its paws. On the other hand, you could probably deliver some pretty damaging kicks and punches without putting your vital organs at serious risk, and leaving your other limbs free to defend yourself or maneuver.
ReplyDeleteDid you just say you were gonna put a coyote in a headlock?!? Now that is pretty goddam ballsy.
ReplyDeleteI'm starting to lean more and more to the side that a coyote would be a 50/50 proposition for a human. Maybe 60/40. After reading all the credible sources on wikipedia.org, it states that most coyotes go for very VERY small game like rabbits.
I hope to god I can kill something that can only kill rabbits.
Pro-me-kicking-ass:
ReplyDeleteCoyotes don't have the reach my leg does, I think I could get some kicks in on it, really anywhere and I think I could wear it down. Sure it might bite my foot, but in a life or death situation, I feel I could keep kicking with a bit foot.
Pro-me-having-my-ass-handed-to-me:
Coyotes are waaaay faster than I am, all that jumping around means it might be able to bite and jump back, repeat until I'm hella tired. They are supposed to be very crafty.
Really though, I think a couple of good kicks, and I would have that thing. I might get bit, but I feel I would come out on top.
P.S. I don't think a coyote looking to kill you is going to let itself get stuck in a headlock until it's already done for.
The teeth are the only part of the animal that you really need to worry about. As the teeth rip and rend, and give you rabies, this is the one part that you need to keep your eye on.
ReplyDeleteNow, if you are super-hardcore, you will take out the coyote with one hit- as it jumps towards you, you punch it in the eye (think True Lies, and you have an idea). Now, since most of us are not that hardcore, we would just have to assume that we would get bit.
If you get bit, it would only be in the leg or arm. (I am betting it can't jump up to your throat in one go). So as soon as it does that, you can wail on it with your other appendages.
Game over- Humans 1 Zoo 0
I've got my rabies shot. Bring it.
ReplyDeleteJust for a dissenting opinion, because I feel brute human force can overcome a coyote, what I am worried about is the coyote nipping at you, biting and releasing quickly.
ReplyDeletejust saying, coyotes are supposed to be crafty...
I gotta say that a coyote probably isn't smart enough to bite and run. The coyote goes after animals that are much MUCH smaller than the coyote. I gotta think that when it runs up against something larger than it, it will try to bite and hold on for dear life.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine it's gonna bite me in the thigh and then release, and then attack my other thigh, and then release and the sweep the legs!1!!1 Once those jaws get clamped down they probably aren't releasing.
Now I have something new to bring up off my original post. I stated that a coyote needs to bite you in the neck, crotch or the head. Everyone seems to have ruled out a coyote being able to bite you in the face/neck area.
What if a coyote bit you right in the groin? Would you black out from the pain? And then allow the coyote to feast on you? Something to think about.
I think the shock and resulting adrenaline would allow you to destroy the coyote before you passed out. Though I am sure the sight of a tattered groin area would take care of that right away.
ReplyDeleteEither that, or you would black out, and then wake up with a dead coyote next to you.
So basically, even after groin bite, I think the coyote still dies.
i'd punch it in the nose and send it running back to mommy.
ReplyDeleteif 'plan a' doesn't work, i'll proceed to snap each of it little limbs into a few piece, kick it in its rib cage and rip its eyeballs out of the damn thing's sockets. i'll manage a few coyote bites. they'll be nothing but superficial scratches. It'll be taken care off by some neosporin and a few glow-in-the-dark disney bandaids
jeremy kick coyote ass, mangg.
Please excuse the grammatical errors.
ReplyDeleteI was getting a bit too excited kicking coyote ass in my head.
A coyote is used to smaller game, far smaller than it, and they max out around 45lbs. That's a sack of rice/potatoes. You could easily throw it, pin it, basically have your way with it.
ReplyDeleteIf you've got a coyote in a ring, its going to fight like a cornered animal, not like a crafty predator. The person is the predator in this situation. If you are in a fight with any animal that isn't a pushover you are going to get hurt in some way, its just a question of how badly. A coyote simply can't inflict a lethal amount of damage to an adult human in decent physical condition.
There are domesticated dogs that are bigger and stronger than coyotes. I'm putting this one at 80/20, for the person.
I am now terrified of jeremy...well, moreso than I was before.
ReplyDeleteExcellent use of "mangg"
So... fighting against a coyote, well, when your fat like me, you cant try to move faster than a coyote. I can kick hard but not fast, so that might not work...
ReplyDeleteI think for me, i would sacrifice a little of my belly blubber, let the coyote bite me in the stomach and hold on for dear life, as tim said a coyote would, and then beat the shit out of it. Maybe poke its eyes out or something.
In the end, its a win-win situation... i beat the coyote, and i won't have to pay for liposuction!!!